I remember you used to take
2 tea bags in a single cup of tea
And I found that strange.
And the way your bus tokens
Just lay around your house
Or how you used to teach me
Stuff like
What a long espresso
Actually means-
Because I remember actually
Googling it
While I was in the kitchen
That night when you tried
To explain
The process on the phone,
Like we used to be at it
For hours at a time.
We used to talk for hours
And you wanted to know
Everything about me.

Till this day I question
How blind I was about
Your teachings
And doings.
Though you wanted a touch of
All the earth in me
I still don't understand why
You choose to keep me
In the dirt and dark
About
Your true obsession.

I ask why you kept me
By your side
When you knew
You would one day let me go.

How you managed
To lie
To my innocent eyes
And my inviting lips
I just don't know.

What did you need
Me for?
Why couldn't you
Just beat me
With the truth
Rather than beating around
The bush-
Whilst getting me fresh roses?

But no matter how many
Questions are circling
My psyche-
No answer or explanation
Would be enough to understand
How you could take bit by bit,
Sacrifice my soul of virtues
For your pleasure.

And how is it that
I still think of what
I gave to you
And what you took from me
When you didn't really
Give me any truth at all.

~Maryum Khalid~

2 thoughts on “I remember you used to”

  1. I’m just blown away by your insight into relationships while they are happening. I must have a like mind, because I understand every word and feeling. Maybe it comes from pain, or loss or just disappointment. Love should be so easy…. why oh why, do we make it so complicated. Reading you was the perfect answer to my long day. Now I know I am not alone in the ” perception ” world ! haha I am sorry for your disappointment, but so happy you shared your insight and experience. Ok.. I’ll calm down now….. haha
    Jim

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