The sun

My sun decides on its own, every night

To set.

The sunset: we think it’s beautiful

But my sun, just leaves every night.

It hurts

But what can I do?

I just learn to accept it.

We accept and live with the

Hurt, the

betrayal.

My sun.

In the end,

We just accept

What isn’t supposed to happen to us-

Because how can we

Ever stop loving

The one that gives something

To our day?

And isn’t it hard to forgive,

For everyday you gave-

And now left behind the shadows-

And what of the moon?

So what if my last desire was

On the floor?

It sparkled.

At least I didn’t just walk by it:

You picked it up

Before leaving.

Leave it for another day.

~Maryum Khalid~

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Renew

Misled by my own meaning of love,

I cherished him-

Caressed him, adored him

And he trusted me- that

Without all this,

He would be artless; empty; unworldly.

But in the end,

That was me.

When I was nineteen,

I met a man

Who said

I consumed his whole life

And he sang to me

Over and over

That he was in love with me.

We took our trips

And he showed me

Underground pathways

To places that had

Never caved in my world.

When all was well

In my little world

He decided to be free of me.

I thought of only freedom,

Truth and love,

But in the end,

I was gracefully damaged.

The truth is

I don’t know if I

Became a wanderer by

Bad will or virtue.

I don’t know why I was

Restless, why I hoped to

Still find someone

Who would love me truthfully.

I don’t know who

I longed to love.

When I was 21

There was a fire-

A man came in,

Said he would save me

But he didn’t live in me,

He lived off of me

And in the end,

Burned the lining of

My skin and

As he left he said

“Don’t you worry,

You’re still pure”.

The truth is

I wish I knew

How to ask myself

About the truth

And how to tell myself

What was being done

Was hurtful;

That it wasn’t okay

To love anyone who

Opened their arms

To you-

Because every time I indulged

In their wounds

And healed their suffering

They gave me their last dance

And left me suffering and

Burdened with love.

From loving them all

To falling to the ground,

Disappearing from

The dark and

Being some where

In the midst of nothing

I came to where

There was no turning away

And all I was left with

Was myself.

Sure, it is said

When love hurts you,

Let it go-

But was I hurting myself f

By giving all of me ?

And was I letting go

Of myself?

The truth is I don’t know

What led me

To fall in love with myself.

I made love with my beauty

And all the scars

Were not so shameful anymore.

It takes time to love yourself enough,

Like a rose,

Blooming,

Growing,

And then again,

You

Renew.

~Maryum Khalid~

Love me

“I need someone to love me in all my forms. To find passion in the dirty, gory bits. To sing lullabies to my anxieties. To celebrate in my truths. Until then, I will do it myself”.

Tonight

“Come out tonight”. 
You think I am just polite and kind?

Yes. But no. 

I am forever mine. 

So just like the mermaid 

Does in her song, 

You can go to sleep.
And then in the ordeal of dreams 

I wonder what he was thinking-

Did he rationalize that this 

Force, threat, violation and crime 

Was actually an affinity? 

That though I was the victim, 

We, as strangers, were platonic 

In this existence?

I wonder what he was thinking 

When he was making me 

His pleasure? 
 But he never could see 

That this great, vigour, courage,

Aggressiveness- 

This warrior in me meant something.
Yes, what really matters-

This self responsibility and 

Determination, this self- acceptance,

It is unconditional: 


I am never changing 
Myself even 

If you took pleasure in doing me:

Do me all kinds of schemes and blasphemy;

What ever hopes and dreams

Help you sleep

Tonight. 
~Maryum Khalid~ 

Jasmine, in the night

Jasmine, it’s your voice in the night.

Some people celebrate their birthday

And others mourn a death,

All in one sunset.

In all honesty, it takes a while

For people to grow on each other,

To accept.

I don’t know why. I don’t know

Why it should, but it does.

Jasmine, your love has

Brought you roses;

With all the thrones

Attached to this elegant body of yours,

He still wants the petals

To ignite that

Deep, affectionate, healing

Voice of yours-

Jasmine, it’s your voice in the night.

When the entire universe

Forgot to count your breath,

Your universe was still

Full of beauty and sweetness.

Jasminum: growth, in the making,

Your happiness is a gift from

God himself.

You may be your whole self

At night;

And the smaller, calming, beautiful

Pieces of you may give off

A stronger scent

Than the whole people see.

I cannot begin to tell you

How sweet, renowned and

Distinct your fragrance

Rises, and emotionally soothes me,

At night, even long after

The sun has set.

Even when I think of that death,

You are my habitat-

When you move in me,

When the moon is waxing

Towards fullness,

Not even that loss takes

Any shape in my heart.

Jasmine, your love has planted

A song- with utter madness,

Your chaotic soul refined

Diamonds out of this ordinary world.

Sing- your world is boundless

In its soul-

It’s your voice in the night.

~Maryum Khalid~

Promised land

Your eyes are the universe,

Don’t you know?

The stars light;

You give life,

Even when your eyes cry.

Tell me not

Yet I still understand.

Lightning strikes

Amid the rain

And over and over,

You look from the

Corner of your eyes.

Your world is

Closer and closer.

Among the paralysis

Of your powerful sanity,

The echo in the memory

Only spells march:

March towards the sunny fields,

March towards the promised land.

~Maryum Khalid~