I want to write you a poem. That can be heard beneath the oceans. I want the coral reefs to sway and dance to the Pain in my words. … I want the sun to shine on you so you shine brighter. I want so much to write your sense of Humanity. Compassion. Respect. And hope for […]
wow…sad truth but strong outcome
All of those moments. When they thought you were too different from “them”. When they called you a “terrorist”. When they swore at you. When they deliberately pushed you. When in front of the entire class your teacher asked you if the men in your life hurt you and forced you to cover. When they […]
Amazing thoughts based on respect for allkind
I do not understand what state we as human beings have come to that we abuse and mistreat animals who communicate differently from us. How we think since they are different than us, we own then and colonize them in our own ways. Most elephants are abducted from their moms when they are babies, physically […]
Kind and supportive!!
If you think that a friend or someone you know is in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, it can be difficult to know what to do. You may want to help, but be scared to lose them as a friend or feel as though it is not your place to step in. All of these […]
Lovely Lies Bought By Fear
Captivating thoughts in an eradicated mind
fabricated love speaking liquidated lines
overstated even debated: A heart heals with time
twisted lips that hit backward flips kill with time
Injection of Hollywood emotions: onion tears
that disappear on the quest for sincere
The front of the final frontier
it’s a front….no endearment near
what’s crystal clear…
the overpowering of guilt and fear…
Love is what…Love is who
what is this thing love suppose to do…
Love to be used
how bout loved to be abused
A crime of passion…the heart is bruised
but rebellion wins and love is refused
My daughter does not deserve
To have you pick at her skin
Where you promised you
Were growing a garden
(What exactly were those seeds?)
There will be no reconciliation
Where you did not water
Her beautiful virtues-
(you were actually an imposter and stranger
With your broken and troubling vices)-
And the raw organs she continued to
Commit to you
(Not all wickedness is seen).
Your false flags showing
You conquered her land
Can burn with your lies:
Your highs and lows
Show now with the truth
(and the battle begins).
You will not take her soil/
You will not breed with her perfect seeds.
My daughter gives to love and life
You, to hate and defeat.
My daughter deserves
The waves of the ocean/
the beams of the well- rounded sun/
Sparkles of sanctity on her skin
And faith embedded in every part of her body.
Artist Jean- Michel Bihorel
Flowers don’t doubt
Bees’ loyalty and honesty
As they take food
(And fly back home)
And suck out the sugars from their souls-
Both are at peace.
I needed you to believe me then.
But your insidious tongue
Forgot you decided to give birth to me
When things got hard.
Flowers bloom on and off
But never forget to scent the atmosphere.
You can close your doors
But your mind will never rest.
I stuck with my promise and reached the end of it
(conquered the winter solstice
And the demons that came with it).
In my mind
My city is infested
Of your lies, abuse, cheating, theft
And Betrayal- you villain- you came and destroyed us, our hearts and bodies.
Like a brutal, vile disease,
The trauma (the emotional aftermath of the disturbing experiences your people justify our beautiful fairies deserve) unfolds
With every step I take
(I am repulsed, holding back,
Withdrawn and unaccepting of this pain
And how ugly it makes me feel).
But the love I have for
My city- the place
I was raised and
I know this love is deeper
Than any wrong you did me (I did me).
My city is so beautiful,
I can’t let your filthy affairs
Congest the air quality
And Drag us down:
We are fully aware of our wounds and have become saints
And we are transparent now,
Our scars translucent- don’t you try to
Figure this relationship out.
My city: my affair: my romantic ordeal:
I want to walk freely
Towards the breeze;
And run breathlessly
Against the shores of sugar beach
(I’m watching for the stars after the sunsets):
And touch the myriad of
City lights with my own beauty
As I walk out of a live theatre performance
Into the brisk and gentle downtown streets (my streets/my home).
No matter the years it takes to heal
From your filthy poison,
My city and I stay true to the vows.
You may break our bodies
(And feed us torture, hate, and torment)
But to honest ones,
home is still home.
“Tell me how you were loved and I’ll tell you how you make love” (Esther Perel).
Note to Self: Tell me about your pain. Tell me about your suffering. Tell me about who loved you. Tell me who didn’t love you. Tell me who you wanted to love. Tell me who you loved who didn’t love you back.Tell me what happened to you. Tell me why you are this way. Tell me who says “what is wrong with you”; who asks this of you, and who asks that of you but they never taught it to you in the first place; tell me who shuts you out when they can’t control the spiritual parts of you and tell me about when you shut down to shield your incorporeal essence. Tell me why you hurt. Tell me who you hurt. Tell me who hurt you. Tell me who you want to be. Tell me who you are. Tell me who you want to love. Tell me who you want to be.
Artist Jean- Michel Bihorel
This sowed guilt is not transient. And I have all these questions like what do you want people to gather about you? (After life slipped from down under my feet without even giving me a chance to take a few breaths). No, I wasn’t given the chance to make a choice anymore because only nature truly knew me. The left over wounds are, however, not enough, no, it will not suffice because there’s some reasons the soul goes on if you want it to, no, I can’t justify the lies even as I feel my fugacious soul- consciously withering and falling before I’m supposed to.
One day in the quietness I realized maybe we acted in this way because we were both angry or tired, we were alone and maybe we internalized literally everything. I hadn’t hugged anybody in so long, hadn’t had any genuine human touch.
Maybe the answers we were angrily seeking were already inside of us because maybe we were going through the same thing and couldn’t ever vocalize it because of the absurdity, audacity or shame of it but maybe we were like each other and that thought just changed everything. It made me more quieter but more humble and accepting to her pain and also my being. Shameful and everything in the open, I allowed myself to understand the angry, bitter, and lonely parts of me. I peeked through the doors of my physical and mental trauma, I was kind of okay with feeling the flashbacks and the horrible memories, I was a bit okay with breaking the stone walls to enter the parts that hurt me or that I let continuously create doubt in this soul and body of mine, I gave thought to the chance of knowing my loving self, underneath all that pain. So there was the shock, denial, disbelief, the confusion, running away, the anger and the mood swings, the anxiety and fear, there was the guilt, the second guessing, the shame and self- blame, oh there was my soul, withering away from others, feeling sad and hopeless as I was in trance, somewhere in space, floating in some unknown galaxy, parallel to the seventh dimension, holding on to I don’t know what, feeling disconnected and physically and emotionally numb. Feel. Feel. Feel. Some parts were aching from the traumatic injuries, the lasting impacts of the physical violence and mental torture. Apparently this is the road to full recovery and stability.
Do you have these moments when your old self fights with your new self? Like before you would contain yourself but now you feel like you want to be open, you want to flutter around more but sometimes your old self will hold you captive in your cocoon. Or before, you were that person who contains their laughter and happiness, either to enjoy it little by little, or not at all, but now you let yourself experience what ever it is you’re feeling, you want to walk and smile, then you want to run and smile, but your old self tried to hold you back? But this new self is teaching you how to let go. This new self is keeping your soul from getting old. You are changing, blossoming. Tell your old self that letting go parts of you isn’t shameful and there’s no need to look down to some of your yester -days and yester- ways. The timing is right. New is dark. New is apprehensive. New is exhausting. New is on time. The appearance of the new you means purity, beauty in your developing spirit. Emotional inner peace as you break into a new spiritual awakening- learning from the old self. A new self of grace, elegance, shyness and hope.
This is some out-of-body experience or some self- reflection or looking into the mirror and not recognizing myself or maybe recognizing all of me and finding some peace or some soul to hold on to.