Dawn

Dawn taught me 

I had many insecurities.

Dawn taught me 

I had given people the chance 

To succumb the whole in me.

Dawn is 23.

Dawn taught me 

My posture, 

Though welcoming,

Was a way for people

To see my weakness.

I am 26.

Dawn said she had been 

Here a while, running wild,

Up hill, down.

I made mistakes 

In front of her;

I put her in danger 

But 

Dawn remained in her beauty.

When Dawn emerged in me,

Her first true appearances 

Were waves from 

The winds of heaven.

Dawn said she would 

Teach me:

To be fearless

And 

Strong 

And 

Alive 

And 

Fierce 

Especially in the woods 

(But still with gentle,

Fairy eyes).

~Maryum Khalid~ 

This Privilege 

You watched these shows 

Of glamorous colours 

To choose from-

But I got mad about 

Why you settled for

Greys and blacks.

So I finally figured it out. 

It’s that you settled for less 

So I could have 

More of the possessions

That I thought a 

Necessity. 

But it was your workings-

This provided privilege.

I just realized you are 

Cinderella 

And your life too, is a 

Fairy tale.

~Maryum Khalid~ 

Take Care 

Still like the sun 
On a warm day 

But I knew I was the one 

Keeping you alive. 

No one would have 

Noticed it was me.

Even with a disguise 

Like the moon

Your heart was beating 

Because I made 

That promise.

Past your insecurities,

Yes.

I would keep it.

In you I find 

The reflection I want 

Myself to be.

So just like so,

I will take care of you.

~Maryum Khalid~ 

Crisis

On some days, I just don’t like to talk. Then on others, I’m expressing my opinion on everything. I want to get to know people because I feel pretty and I want to hear it from them about my vibrant soul so I put myself out there in the open. On some days, I like to see myself as a beautifully dressed, elegant woman. I even put on some jewelry. But on some days I don’t want that, I feel like wearing black and not doing anything to myself. I feel like I’m in a bubble. I want nothing extra on myself, no lace, no belts, just a simple girl doing what needs to be done. There are days I feel excited about my life and even when all the necessary work’s done, I want to explore the world and myself. On some days the necessary is a drag and I beg and plead with myself to carry on and then I hide under the covers of my bed, reading or watching something. I save videos, recipes and words on the notepad for tomorrow while I think of all the hard times befalling on me, the impossible solutions and resolutions, how I feel restless because there are no answers. Sometimes I am my friend and then my own enemy. If I tell someone this, even people I love, they will say I’m depressed, bipolar or some sort of “mentally ill”. On most days I’ve come to realize you face happiness, sadness, truth and misery, sometimes all at once or dispersed within the hours like stable breaths. I’ve learned there’s no logical reason to panic because I have it in me to control my mind even though sometimes the heart has its own reasons for the anxiety I feel. It’s all going to be okay. Sweetheart, it’s all going to be okay.

~Maryum Khalid~

IMG_5288

Alexei Jawlensky

Something Beautiful 

“You are beautiful.
There’s something 

Beautiful about you. 

Right from the start

Of seeing you,

I knew there was 

Something beautiful about you”.

And he hugged me.

And I don’t know why 

I started to cry. 

After a long time 

(Even though I feel beautiful 

On most days and 

Tell myself I am)

Another being mentioned 

There is beauty in me. 

And it’s a beautiful thing. 

And I felt overwhelmed.

I felt reassured:

That even though I’m struggling,

I’m doing the right thing.

“Tell me you’ll come 

See me again. 

Somehow I’ve found a 

Way to get lost 

In your beauty. 

Something wonderful has happened-

I saw you 

And only in that one instance,

Nothing else mattered”.


I was touched but only 

Smiled in return.

He hugged me and I held 

It until 

He was through.

And I know that’s why 

I’m beautiful.

I know I love

But I don’t tell.

This is my art 

Of loving you.

~Maryum Khalid~ 

It’s a Short Life 

He wasn’t planning 

On dying tonight.

Neither was I.

I am given some more time-

As he left this world.

What else did he leave?

We are more than ourselves-

We are our people, places,

Events, memories; we 

Are ideas beyond a day. 

And tonight, he didn’t know 

It was his last.

~Maryum Khalid~ 

“Life Death Life” 2015

Jennifer Davey 

Time (She Asked For) 

It was the way 

She took off her earrings 

Every night at the same 

Time.

The way she undid her hair-

Let it loose.

She felt free, I felt it.

Everyday, my love.

I made her wait. 

But now she was 

Slowly dying.

On the outside, you could tell.

In the inside, love was killing us.

I apologized to her 

Quite a few times 

She would look the other way.

She couldn’t talk.

I begged her.

Only the last time,

She didn’t turn away.

She looked straight at me,

From an angle,

Lying in her hospital bed. 

I saw a single tear falling 

From her eye- 

Drifting from

The long path,

As long as the path as she waited

For me for years

(The days she could walk) to 

Apologize, to believe, to feel 

The depth in our path,

To be loyal and trustworthy 

And to feel our souls as one.

And I just sat there,

And she stoped blinking.

Her eyes staring straight at me,

I could only hear my heart beat

And her voice telling me:

It was now my time to wait.

~Maryum Khalid~ 

Falling Out of Love 

I am falling out of love. 

Falling into touching the 

Reasons behind why I 

Can’t feel you.

I am falling out of love. 

Going, to now complete 

What was left undone.

I am falling out of love.

Breathing, to revalue 

My way of life.

I am falling out of love.

Signing, to reclaim and 

Become an agent of strength. 

I am falling out of love.

Not frightened to wear 

My emotional skin.

I am falling out of love.

Moulding confidence and respect 

As self preservation.


I am falling out of love.

Whispering distinguished thinking,

Not clouded judgment.

I am falling out of love.

Recognizing my life’s fears 

And the coming changes.

I am falling out of love.

Not overwhelming myself 

To maintain your sanity 

At the expense of mine.

I am falling out of love.

Not absorbing it all 

To lose myself to illness.

I am falling out of your love 

(Your hands) of vulnerability 

That developed me 

Less and less.

And this control, now I grasp

Is enough. 

I am falling out of love-

Not accommodating the most 

So you can be happy-

Does it matter if it hurts? 

No, what matters most 

Is I know now 

What matters.

~Maryum Khalid~ 

As I Lay There (from a healing survivor of domestic assault)

As I lay there,
My heart broke out:

I am tired of fighting,

Tired of finally 

Making way to 

Say the words I never said:

I’m tired of my broken bones 

And of being hurt inside.

I’m tired of yelling and screaming.

And as she pressed 

Against my body

I could feel the hurt 

And that’s when I 

Made the connection:

This has been real,

I’m really hurting. 

And finally,

I let her.

I let her tear me apart.

I did not put up a fight.

Anymore.

And I felt more.

As I lay there restless,

I did not retaliate 

And as tears covered my body,

I could breathe more and more.

That was what I needed-

I accepted what was mine,

What wasn’t,

What I asked for,

What I didn’t.

I was in the dark 

And felt only then 

I was floating 

On the true essence 

Of my life.

~Maryum Khalid~ 

Know Not 

We met early in life. 
I suppose.

I don’t think I planned

To get lost.

Before you came,

I walked but 

Didn’t realize the meaning 

Of my footsteps.

And though my breaths 

Were deep because 

I longed for a soul like you,

I never felt 

You were coming. 

I never felt your coming.

And there you were

Perhaps as always.

You still choose to 

Dwell in me 

Even though I was a mess.

You were harsh with me,

With your words

Even if you always 

Held my hands.

Because you knew 

I needed you-

I was still a naive child.

You took the soul

Out of me 

Many-a-times 

But still always 

Reminded me 

You loved me.

There is a being in me 

So very thankful 

For starting your 

Journey in me. 

Yet there are times 

During the day 

I drift, I drift away.

I cry.

And cry.

And cry. 

I feel alone, unwanted

Even at your bedside.

I am humbled by your 

Way of accepting me.

But have I accepted 

That every time 

I feel your heart,

I tremble,

Skip a beat-

For there is so much 

You (and I) know 

Not of me?

~Maryum Khalid~